{Finding} a Balance

7 May

I don’t usually get to personal here but since I started my blog focusing on health and fitness I feel obligated to talk about this issue I’ve been having. I talked a little bit about my back injury and how I’ve had little success correcting it. It’s affecting me physically but also mentally.

Last year I got in the best shape of my life by attending work out classes 4 times a week. I never worried about what I ate on the weekends because it was my cheat day. I busted my ass the four days at workout so it never stressed me out. When I started having problems with my back, I started having anxiety about not working out and gaining back weight I had lost,losing all my hard work that I did last year. Since December I haven’t been able to work out like I’ve wanted to. And I definitely can’t do any running. I’ve been attempting to ride my bike but it’s painful.

Last year I based my happiness around working out and feeling good about myself and eating healthy. Now it’s like all that has been taken away from me and I have no way to let out stress and feel good about myself. I am constantly critical of what I eat now that I feel like I can’t control it with workouts. I’ve been trying different styles of eating like Paleo and Whole 30 and even though I eat mostly good stuff I beat myself up when I cheat. Sometimes I’ll push myself too far with trying to be active, and it hurts my back even more. It’s a vicious cycle that is making me extremely unhappy.

Photo 1

Me before all this happened.

I really need to snap out of it and find ways to make myself happy and not think about food or exercise.  I just need a different mindset to look at life everyday, in terms of not what I can’t do, but what I can do. I need to find other things to keep my occupied in the evening besides workout and cooking dinner, because it’s becoming depressing to constantly think about food and exercise that I can’t do. I decided to plan something non-food related and non-traditional exercise related to do every night of this week. Something to look forward to besides my usual “gym and dinner” routine. It’s hard. This was what made me happy for the past six months. But I’m really trying to look past it and change. The more I stress out about this, the more I won’t be able to maintain my weight because it’s too much stress. I figure as long as I’m happy and still relatively active I have nothing to worry about.

Photo 2

Need to be happier- like this!!


Monday- I went to the park and wrote before swimming.

Tuesday- Do a wedding craft with Austin, and this- blogging

Wednesday- Swimming and finishing the book I’m reading

Thursday- Pilates and a walk if I feel up to it

Friday- Going home!

Sat- Bridal Shower


Most of the things are still fitness related because I feel like I need to get SOME movement. I have a really hard time not working out on a weekday. I feel incredible guilt but I know it’s stupid. That’s why I should prob cut down on reading so many blogs of girls who run and do cross fit, but I enjoy reading blogs! I try not to compare myself because everyone’s different.

Wow this was pretty personal but it feels good to write about it. The more I write about strategies to make myself happy the better I feel.

Tell me I’m not alone in this…do any of you feel guilt after not working out for a day?


10 Responses to “{Finding} a Balance”

  1. Katie @ Live Half Full May 7, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

    Girl, we are in the same boat! I have a herniated disc in my neck right now and even though the pain is awful, the guilt is worse!!!

  2. Her Happy Balance May 7, 2013 at 8:23 pm #

    Yes. I feel ridiculously guilty when I miss a night at the gym (aka tonight). Even though I’m eating much healthier than I ever have, working out more than ever, I feel so much more conscious about making sure I don’t take too many rest days. It’s awesome that youre swimming. I’ve heard that it can be great rehabilitation, maybe it could help your back. Thank you for sharing, I think this message can resonate with a lot of other readers too.

    • Andrea @Pencils and Pancakes May 8, 2013 at 6:30 am #

      I know…. We shouldn’t feel guilty…it’s hard especially looking at other blogs! Glad to know in not alone!

  3. ahealthyhappyhome May 7, 2013 at 11:56 pm #

    Oh I SOOO struggle with this! I wrote about it the other day and am really trying to work on doing less intense workouts, less focusing on fitness and more family, self, and relaxation time!

  4. Jan @ Sprouts n Squats May 8, 2013 at 4:45 am #

    Yes I hate not being able to workout. I’ve been sick the last 3 days and haven’t been able to workout and it does make me feel guilty. Also in the last month I’ve felt on and off sick and haven’t been able to go as hard or as many times as I would have liked and again had the same feelings. The worst for me was last year when I had a foot injury and couldn’t run for a couple of months and that killed my spirit a little bit.

    What helps me with this but also just my general happiness and wellbeing is everyday I write down 5 things I was grateful for, for the day. If I can think of more than 5 then I write it all down but I have to come up with at least 5 things no matter how little they may be. I find when I’m feeling down I can look back on the things that have happened or that I’ve appreciated and it helps me to feel more positive. I also have been exploring some of my more creative outlets like I bought a new camera to start doing photography, I’ve been doing more reading and I’ve also done some craft projects as well as blogging too.

  5. Alex @ Cookie Dough Katzen May 8, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

    You are 100% not alone in this. I dread the days that I have to take off from working out. It’s taken a lot of work to train my mind not to obsess over it. The thing that’s helped me is to say, “I know I’ll workout tomorrow or the next day.” Just knowing that you will work out again is good to think. I’m glad you’re at least able to do light exercises. Oh and about the monotonous evenings- I totally understand. That’s why I joined a gym so I can switch up my workouts. Also, some evenings, I’ll meet a friend or do something different to have a little fun. I’ve also found the tv show Mad Men to be a great thing to look forward to besides the gym and food! Hang in there with your back!

    • Andrea @Pencils and Pancakes May 8, 2013 at 7:21 pm #

      Thanks! Yes it’s important to have things to look forward to every week day so you’re not working for the weekend…

  6. Maggie Abbate May 10, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

    Hi there!

    I have nominated you for the Liebster Award, an award that fellow bloggers pass along to blogs they enjoy that have less than 200(ish) followers (and should have more)! You might have seen it on other friends’ blogs as it has become a popular award in the blogging community. I love your posts and wanted to take this opportunity to spread the word about your blog.

    All you need to do is check out the instructions @ http://readysetbreathe.wordpress.com/2013/05/10/blogger-tag/ and then pass the award along!

    Happy blogging! 🙂

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